Simple Ideas to Ensure a Good Visit
Now that we have lived as new parents for a couple of weeks (months), talked to some of our friends with babies and having done some research, I have developed some tips for visiting baby, mommy and daddy.
Do not show up unannounced!!!
The new mommy and daddy’s lives have been turned upside down. They are not sleeping, their diets are a total mess and they are a little on edge, at the very least.
Their entire schedule is in disarray. They have doctor’s appointments, work to catch up on, laundry to do, overdue showers to take, etc.
They may not be ready, willing or able to welcome visitors. Also, they may already have visitors and they don’t want the baby to be overwhelmed.
So, give them the courtesy of asking if it is okay to visit at home or at the hospital.
Don’t be offended when they say, “Now is not a good time.”
Follow Their Rules
Don’t get bent out of shape if they don’t just hand their precious little bundle of joy over to you. It doesn’t matter who you are!!!
Expect to be asked to wash your hands. They may even hand you a bottle of sanitizer. Don’t be offended.
You may be a mother of 10, if they give you instructions on how to hold their baby; hold your tongue.
Unsolicited Free Advice is Often Worth the Amount Paid for It
In most cases, if you are someone whose advice the parent’s value, they will ask you for it. When it comes to rearing a baby, everyone is an expert or so it seems.
They are hearing it from every direction, they have taken classes and read books and articles. Trust me when I tell you that they are on information overload and what they really want to hear from you is … “What can I do to help?”
What Can You Do to Help?
You know that one recipe that you make, which everyone raves about at the pot luck? Yah, that one! Bring it in a disposable pot, pan, tray or Tupperware container.
They are so tired the last thing they want to do is cook or clean dishes.
Trust me when I tell you that they would appreciate the meal.
Offer Your Time
Offer to come over to clean their house, do dishes, do laundry, change a diaper or sit with the baby while they take a much needed shower and/or nap.
Practice this Phrase
What can I bring? Chances are that they haven’t been to the store in a while.
You don’t have to bring anything, but it’s the little things that make a huge difference and simply swinging by the store and grabbing something for them may be a big help.
Bring Diapers or Baby Wipes
In our case, we have enough diapers, from the baby shower diaper raffle, to get us most of the way through the first year. However, we are an anomaly.
When you call and ask if you may visit, ask if they need diapers, baby wipes, formula, etc., for the baby.
The little things make a big difference.
If you are not feeling 100%, don’t visit a newborn baby!!!
Don’t Bring Sick Children
Do not bring your children, unless you have cleared it with mommy!
Mommy is in mama bear mode. If you bring a child who has a runny nose, a sneeze or a cough, mommy will not be happy! … and when mama’s not happy, ain’t nobody happy!
Mommy and daddy don’t want to risk getting their child sick.
Don’t Bring Your Pet
Mommy and daddy are already watching their pets very closely. They don’t need more animals in the mix.
Maybe it is just me, but I would never bring a pet to anyone’s home, let alone one with a new baby without clearing it first, but apparently, this happens.
If you smoke, don’t visit a preemie baby without first speaking with the baby’s mother.
You have residual tobacco toxins on your clothing, at the very least. The toxins on your clothing can damage the baby’s lungs permanently.
Just stepping outside for a smoke is not acceptable, if you plan to hold a baby.
Don’t believe me, look it up!
Don’t Post Pictures of the Baby Without Permission
If the parents haven’t posted pictures or if they value their privacy, don’t post pictures of the baby without permission to do so.
Good thing our friends and family don’t have to worry about that one. Daniel is on the Internet almost as much as a Kardashian.
This is their baby. They know what they want. They will have rules for you and for the baby.
Ask permission to visit, to pick up the baby, to feed the baby, to post pictures of the baby, etc.
Just put yourself in their shoes and be empathetic.
These are just tips. Every family is different.
Simply call mommy or daddy and speak to them before you visit, especially if the baby was born premature.
By Bill Robertson